**Indonesian Paradise: OYO 91653 Hagawa Lamongan's Sport Center Getaway!**
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this is going to be less a hotel review and more a slightly unhinged love letter (and a few gripes) to… well, let's just call it "The Place." Forget the stock photos and the sanitized brochure speak, we're diving DEEP into the nitty-gritty. I'm talking "was the toilet paper that scratchy kind?" deep. Here we go…
First Impressions & Getting In (or Trying To)
So, right off the bat, the accessibility game at The Place… well, it's… trying. They've got the ramps, the elevator, the… attempts. I’d say it's not perfectly wheelchair-accessible, but you know what? They’re making an effort. I saw some guests navigating with various mobility aids, and while I overheard some minor grumbles about a slightly too-steep ramp near the pool, I’ll give them points for trying. And thank God for the Elevator after that climb.
On-Site Restaurants & Lounges: Food, Glorious (and Sometimes Questionable) Food!
Okay, the dining situation? A wild ride. Let’s start with the good:
- Multiple restaurants! This is huge. A la carte, Buffet in Restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant and so on means options, people! They've got Asian Cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant all under one roof! And they actually try for different levels of quality. The buffet breakfasts were a solid win. I’m a total sucker for a good Asian breakfast, Western breakfast and they delivered. Seriously, the little pastries? Amazing. (Though the coffee… let’s just say it's not what you go there for.)
- Poolside bar: HEAVENLY. Especially after a long day of… well, whatever you do on vacation. The cocktails were surprisingly well-made, and the atmosphere? Pure chill.
- Snack bar: perfect for quick bites.
Now, for the… less good:
- The "fine dining" restaurant? Overpriced and a little pretentious for my taste. The food was… fine. Not mind-blowing. Frankly, I preferred the buffet and the Poolside Bar.
- The Room service [24-hour]? Excellent for late-night cravings.
Room for Improvement (and a Few Quirks)
Okay, so they've got a lot of categories. Let's run through some of the more minor ones quickly:
Internet is there, but…: Yes, Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!, which is GREAT, but sometimes, the signal felt like it was a tiny, shy hamster trying to push a boulder uphill. Internet [LAN] is also available… if you even remember what a LAN is anymore.
Cleanliness and Safety: Look, these things are a must in the post-pandemic world. Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer, Hygiene certification, Rooms sanitized between stays… I saw staff cleaning constantly. I felt safe. The Staff trained in safety protocol seemed legit, not just lip service.
They've got a whole bunch of stuff in the room that is pretty standard Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathrobes, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Wake-up service, Window that opens.
Services: Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Safety deposit boxes. and more. I'm happy to see all these facilities.
Relaxation Station: Spa, Sauna, and the Elusive Bliss.
Alright, let's get to the good stuff. The spa… Oh, the spa.
- Spa, Sauna, Steamroom, Massage, Body Scrub, Body Wrap: These are all available.
I’m a sucker for a good massage, and this place… delivered. The masseuse was a tiny, powerhouse of muscle-kneading goodness. Seriously, the Massage was worth the price of admission alone. I think I actually saw colors I’d never seen before during that experience.
- Pool with view, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]: They have that. The pool is…okay. Clean. The view wasn't particularly mind-blowing, but it was relaxing.
Fitness Fanatic (or the Lack Thereof)
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: I peered into the fitness center. It looked… functional. I’m not a gym rat, so I can't really give a proper review. It's there, it exists, and apparently, people use it.
The "Things to Do" Avalanche! (or, What Will Actually Keep You Entertained)
Okay, so the list of "things to do" is impressive. Let's break this down.
- For the Kids: They have Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal, okay, great for families.
- Indoor venue for special events, Outdoor venue for special events, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Meetings, Meeting/banquet facilities, Seminars, Shrine, Wi-Fi for special events… This place seems setup to be a event hub
- Getting Around: Airport transfer, Bicycle parking, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Taxi service, Valet parking all are available.
The Oddball Bits & Bobs
- First Aid Kit – good. I always feel safer knowing they've got that.
- Couple's room – Nice, I guess?
- Smoking area – Still a thing, apparently.
- Pets allowed unavailable – good to know.
The Bottom Line: Should You Book? (My Honest, Messy Opinion)
Okay, so is The Place perfect? Absolutely not. Is it without its quirks and minor annoyances? Nope. There are imperfections, but the good stuff far outweighs the bad. I felt pampered, I felt relaxed, and I left feeling… well, pretty darn good.
(Here’s the messy, real-world sell:)
Book The Place if:
- You want a genuinely relaxing spa day.
- You need a place to recharge and have options
- You want good food (and aren’t afraid to try the buffet).
- You’re looking for a solid, comfortable stay with a staff who seem to actually care.
Avoid The Place if:
- You're obsessed with perfect accessibility (although, they are improving and trying!)
- You're a food snob who demands Michelin-star quality at every meal.
- You are looking a completely un-quirky experience.
But seriously… just book it. You deserve a little taste of "The Place". You'll leave feeling better than when you arrived. I’m already planning my return. And next time, I'm booking that extra massage. Seriously, do it. You won't regret it.
Now, go click that "Book Now" button and make life a little bit more comfortable.
Unbelievable Asanjo Villa: Your Kolvan, India Escape Awaits!
Alright, buckle up buttercups! This ain't your grandma's meticulously planned itinerary. We're diving headfirst into Lamongan, Indonesia, and my inner chaos gremlin is already doing a happy dance. We're starting with a stay at the oh-so-grand-sounding OYO 91653 Grand Syariah Hagawa, near the SPORT CENTER LAMONGAN. Let's see if it lives up to the name, shall we?
Departure (AKA, The Great Panic of Planning… Kinda)
- Day 1: Arrival and Initial Bewilderment
- Morning (6:00 AM - 8:00 AM): Wake up, regretting last night's impulsive online shopping spree (seriously, what was I thinking buying a talking avocado plushie?). Shower, pack (or rather, stuff things haphazardly into a bag), and triple-check I have my passport. Pro tip: always assume you've forgotten something. You probably have.
- Late Morning (8:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Flight from… (Insert your actual origin here) to Surabaya. Survive the airport chaos, the questionable airport food (ALWAYS the questionable airport food), and the existential dread of air travel. I swear, every time the plane starts to descend, I'm convinced it's the end. But hey, at least the views are (usually) pretty.
- Afternoon (12:00 PM - 4:00 PM): Land in Surabaya. Okay, deep breaths. The real adventure begins. Grab a pre-booked (I learned my lesson about Indonesian taxis last time) taxi/Grab car to OYO 91653 Grand Syariah Hagawa, Lamongan. Haggle like your life depends on it (even if it doesn't, it's just good practice).
- Evening (4:00 PM - 8:00 PM): Check-in at the hotel. Pray the room isn't a dungeon. Seriously, I once stayed in a place where the shower drain was actually a black hole. Unpack, unpack, a bit more unpacking. Stare intently at the room and try to determine if it's clean.
- Night (8:00 PM onwards): Dinner. Find a local warung (small, family-run restaurant). Embrace the mystery of the menu (Google Translate is your friend, sometimes). Try something new. Maybe something I can't pronounce. If I survive, I'll consider it a win. Maybe I get overly excited cause it tasted great and I'll take a picture, and then promptly forget to write any notes on what I ate. This is me afterall.
Days of Immersion (AKA, Trying To Blend In… Badly)
Day 2: Sport Center Shenanigans and a Surprising Delight
- Morning (7:00 AM - 9:00 AM): Wake up. Assess the room for lingering signs of a potential black hole. Have breakfast (hopefully not involving questionable airport food).
- Late Morning (9:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Head to the SPORT CENTER LAMONGAN. Okay, I'm envisioning Olympic-level facilities. Reality will probably be… different. Wander around. People-watch. Attempt to understand what the locals are actually doing here.
- Afternoon (12:00 PM - 4:00 PM): Lunch. Find a cafe near the SPORT CENTER. Try the local dishes, of course. I wanna find a local specialty dish like "Soto Lamongan" or "Nasi Boranan". It feels like the place to get the best experience.
- Late Afternoon (4:00 PM - 6:00 PM): A real surprise (get ready for it cause this is where things gets real). I swear I stumbled upon the most beautiful little shop. It was an antique shop, filled with old treasures, beautiful intricate carvings, and other unique objects that would instantly transport you to the stories from another time. I get lost in it and forgot the day, the place, everything. If I can still make it back to my hotel room, I will consider this a win.
- Evening (6:00 PM onwards): Return to the hotel. Relax, take a shower (again, assess for black holes), and get ready for bed.
Day 3: Temples, Traditions, and the Tummy Rumblings of Doom
- Morning (7:00 AM - 9:00 AM): Wake up. Another day, another breakfast challenge.
- Late Morning (9:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Explore the temples close by (if there are any! Do some research beforehand, idiot!). Embrace the history, the culture, the… potential for getting lost. I should, at least, try to learn a few basic Indonesian phrases. "Terima kasih" (thank you) is my mantra.
- Afternoon (12:00 PM - 4:00 PM): Lunch. More local food adventures. This time, I'm going to be brave and order something I can't even remotely identify. Or maybe I'll play it safe. It depends on my level of adventurousness in the moment. It's a coin flip.
- Late Afternoon (4:00 PM - 6:00 PM): Visit the local marketplace. Bargain for souvenirs. Get completely ripped off. It's all part of the experience, right? Right?
- Evening (6:00 PM onwards): Dinner. Reflect on the day. Realize I probably ate something that’ll cause all sorts of problems. Consider my life choices. Maybe order a pizza delivered to the hotel.
Day 4: The Food Coma and Departure Anxiety
- Morning (7:00 AM - 9:00 AM): Ugh. Wake up. Probably not feeling great. Start the desperate search for an anti-nausea medication.
- Morning (9:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Final wanderings in Lamongan. Buy any last-minute souvenirs. Try to cram one last delicious (and potentially disastrous) meal in.
- Afternoon (12:00 PM - 4:00 PM): Head back to Surabaya. Taxi/Grab car. Arrive at the airport. Start feeling the crippling fear that I left something vital back at the hotel (probably my sanity).
- Evening (4:00 PM - 7:00 PM): Flight back… (Your origin again, insert it here). Reflect on the trip. Decide, "Yeah, I'm totally doing that again… eventually."
- Night (7:00 PM onwards): Land. Go home. Unpack (or not, let me just say it again: you still have the avocado plushie to consider). Start planning the next adventure.
Important Notes (AKA, Disclaimers and General Ramblings)
- Food Poisoning: Highly likely. Be prepared. Pack Pepto-Bismol, Imodium, and a strong sense of humor.
- Language Barrier: Expect it. Learn a few basic phrases. Use Google Translate. Embrace the awkwardness.
- Transportation: Be prepared for chaos. Traffic is insane. Cabs might try to rip you off. Buses… well, they're an experience.
- The Hotel: The OYO? No promises. It could be amazing. It could be… less amazing. Let’s just hope it has running water.
- Flexibility: Forget rigid plans. Things will change. Embrace the unexpected. That's where the real fun is.
- My Mental State: Constantly evolving. Fuelled by caffeine and the sheer terror of being in a new place.
- Overall: This is just a rough outline. I'm pretty sure my enthusiasm about antiques will be the only thing I truly remember about this trip. The rest will be a blur of delicious food, cultural experiences, and the constant battle against the urge to buy another talking avocado. But hey, that's life, right?
- Enjoy!: Or… don't. I can't control you. Just have fun.
Seriously, What *Is* This About? Why Are We Doing This?
Okay, deep breaths. This is supposed to be an FAQ. About… stuff. Mostly the stuff that's cluttering up my brain at 3 AM. You know, the existential dread mixed with the urgent need to fold the towels before they turn into permanent wrinkled nightmares. Why? Honestly, because my therapist told me to "process" things. This… this is processing, alright. (Mostly it's me procrastinating on doing the actual processing.)
Do You Consider Yourself an Expert?
Expert? Ha! Honey, the only thing I'm an expert in is creating a mountain of dirty dishes in record time. I'm more of an… experienced observer. A highly caffeinated, occasionally cynical, but ultimately hopeful observer. So, take everything I say with a grain of salt. Or, you know, a whole shaker. I’m not a doctor, I’m not a guru, I'm definitely not a financial advisor. I'm just… me. Which, if you're honest, is probably enough for a good laugh, right?
What inspires you? Like, what gets you *going*?
That's a tricky one. Okay, fine. Coffee. Seriously. Coffee and the sheer, stubborn refusal to let my life become a complete and utter mess. Also, the thought that one day, *maybe*, I'll finally understand the plot of Inception. That movie… don't even get me started. It haunts my dreams. And sometimes, just sometimes, the sheer ridiculousness of it all. Like, you know, my cat staring intently at a blank wall for an hour. That kind of pure, unadulterated silliness. That gets me going.
What are your pet peeves? (Please be prepared for a rant.)
OH. MY. GOD. Okay, here we go. People who chew with their mouths open. It physically hurts me. Slow walkers in the grocery store blocking the entire aisle. And… and this is a big one… people who leave their shopping carts in the *middle* of the parking lot. Seriously?! It's a parking *lot*, not a cart depository! It is a personal affront to my well-being. Like, I'm honestly getting worked up just *thinking* about it. And don’t even GET me started on people who don't return their library books on time. (I may or may not have a library fine situation myself.)
What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you? (You don't have to say that, but I am curious to say the least.)
Okay, okay, that's a loaded question. But let's see... The *absolute* worst? Hmm… Well, there was that time I tried to make a gourmet dinner party for my (now ex-)boyfriend. I envisioned an elegant evening, champagne flowing, witty banter… It ended with a smoke alarm blaring, burnt lasagna, and him telling me that he preferred takeout. The champagne, I’m pretty sure, didn’t make it past the appetizer. Oh, and the smoke alarm? It went off for a solid half-hour. The embarrassment, you guys... The embarrassment. I swear, even the dog was judging me. The whole thing was a disaster. Humiliating. And… funny, now that I think about it. Comedy is tragedy plus time, am I right? Right? Anyone?
What do you do when you're feeling down?
Oh, that's easy. First, I wallow. Briefly. Allow the sadness to wash over me, the full drama. Then, I put on really loud, upbeat music. Like, the kind that makes you want to dance even if you have zero rhythm (which, spoiler alert, I do). I might eat some chocolate. Okay, I *definitely* eat some chocolate. Sometimes, I call my best friend and we just… laugh. At the absurdity of everything. Also, and this is crucial, I light a scented candle. Usually vanilla. Because vanilla is like a warm, fuzzy hug in a jar. And sometimes, when it is very very bad, I watch cat videos. They always help. Always.
Do you have any regrets?
Regrets? Oh, honey, I have a whole *collection*. Buying those platform shoes in the 90s. (What was I thinking?!). Saying yes to karaoke that one time. (Never again.) Letting that… that *person* break my heart. But, you know what? Regrets are like those pesky weeds in the garden. You gotta pull ‘em, learn from ‘em, and move on. I'm trying to… slowly, maybe. Okay, I am going to go and try.
What's the best piece of advice you've ever received?
My grandmother, she was a wise woman. She once told me, "Don't take yourself so seriously, dear. Life is a comedy, and if you're not laughing, you're missing the best parts." She was right. Because life is messy, and weird, and at times… just plain awful. But it's also beautiful, and hilarious, and full of surprises. And sometimes, when I'm really lucky, there's chocolate.
Do you have any advice for someone struggling right now?
Okay, this is important. First, it's okay not to be okay. It's absolutely, completely, 100% fine to feel whatever you're feeling. Cry if you need to. Scream into a pillow. Eat a whole pizza. Just… don't give up. Reach out. Talk to someone. And remember that this too shall pass. It always does. Even if it takes a really long time, and feels like the worst thing ever. And… and please, be kind to yourself. You deserve it.
What is your favorite color?
Oh, good lord. I don't know! This is like asking me to choose my favorite child... which, if I had kids, would be a different struggle. But colors... okay, if I *had* to choose, it would be a toss-up between deep teal, like a stormy ocean. Or the color of a really good cup of coffee in the morning. Or maybe, and this is a recent development,Hotel Search Tips
