Jenz 3BR Homestay: KSL D'Esplanade Jewel, Johor Bahru! ✨
Okay, buckle up buttercup, because this is gonna be a wild ride reviewing [Hotel Name]. We're diving DEEP, people!
First things first: Accessibility. Alright, listen up because this is IMPORTANT. Claiming to be accessible and actually being accessible are two different beasts. I really dug in and found: while they say they have facilities for disabled guests, like elevators (that’s a MUST!), the real test is the details. Think: ramps? Wide doorways? Enough space to maneuver a wheelchair in the bathrooms? I’ll need to badger them for specifics because what makes them accessible will have to be tested. And if they don't offer the real deal, well, that's a big, fat FAIL in my book.
On-site accessible restaurants/lounges: Another area ripe for scrutiny. "Accessible" shouldn't mean "kinda, sorta, if you're feeling ambitious." Let's hope they haven't just slapped a ramp on the entrance and called it a day. Details, details, details! Gotta check how easy it is to navigate, how high the tables are, if they have accessible menus… Ugh, let's just say I have some questions – and I'm already planning on asking them!
Wheelchair accessible: See above. This NEEDS clarification.
Internet, Internet [LAN], Internet services, Wi-Fi in public areas, Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!: Ok, so Wi-Fi is a MUST-HAVE these days, right? Especially if you're paying for a hotel in 2024. They're shouting that free Wi-Fi is in every room, which is a HUGE plus. But I’ve had nightmares with spotty Wi-Fi in the past. So, I'm already mentally preparing to test that claim. In the meantime, a LAN connection is also provided. This is for all of the workaholics (or gamers) out there.
Things to do, ways to relax: Here’s the fun stuff! Let’s see…
- Fitness Center: Gotta say, I appreciate a good gym. I mean, I intend to use it. Maybe. Definitely if there's a decent view. A good hotel gym can actually motivate me to get a workout in… or at least feel less guilty about all the buffet food I'm about to devour. But is it worth the trip?
- Pool with view: Okay, now we're talking! A pool with a view is just pure bliss. Imagine: sipping a cocktail, the sun on your face, and gazing at… whatever scenic vista they’ve got on offer… This is where the "relaxation" begins… assuming the screaming kids aren't hogging all the space.
- Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom: I am a firm believer in the power of a good steam. Like, I've literally cried from joy in a eucalyptus-infused sauna. So, the fact that they have multiple options? That's winning! But if they don't… well, I'll be throwing myself into a dramatic, sweaty heap of disappointment.
- Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]: More water! More fun! Does it have a swim-up bar? Asking for a friend (it's me, I'm the friend).
- Massage, Body scrub, Body wrap: Sign me up! After a long flight, work trip, or just a random Tuesday, a massage is EVERYTHING. The body wraps and scrubs, even better! I need all of this. All of it!
- Foot bath: YES! A foot bath is like giving your tired tootsies a little slice of heaven. This speaks to my inner hippie.
Cleanliness and safety: Right, down to the nitty-gritty, the stuff that really matters.
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer, Hygiene certification, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Shared stationery removed, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment: This is HUGE. I mean, given… you know… the world we live in, these sound like they're taking things seriously, and I love it! No one wants to spend their vacay sick! I want to know all the details!! Do they have the same for the spas as the fitness centers?
Dining, drinking, and snacking: Now we're talking my language!
- Restaurants, Poolside bar, Bar, Coffee shop: Variety is the spice of life, and the fuel for my Instagram feed. Several restaurants and bars are mentioned. This is a good start.
- A la carte in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Buffet in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant: I'm all for having options! I mean, I love a good buffet as much as the next person. I’m a sucker for the soup, salad, and desert too.
- Asian breakfast, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Desserts in restaurant, Happy hour, International cuisine in restaurant, Room service [24-hour], Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Western breakfast: I could list all these things I want. I am so ready to eat. Room service 24 hours? Yes, please!
- Bottle of water: Gotta have it. Hydration is key, especially after a few cocktails (and maybe a swim).
- Alternative meal arrangement, Breakfast takeaway service, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: I like that.
Services and conveniences: Stuff to make your stay easier.
- Air conditioning in public area: Necessary!
- Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Safety deposit boxes, Smoking area, Taxi service, Valet parking: I mean, it has a LOT of stuff, but does it work? Does it actually make things convenient? I NEED these things!
For the kids:
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: Good if you need it! Less good if you're traveling solo and want peace and quiet. Gotta see if they have a separate pool area, so the little ones can be loud without ruining my zen.
Access:
- CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Fire extinguisher, Front desk [24-hour], Security [24-hour], Smoke alarms: Important! Peace of mind – you can't put a price on it.
Available in all rooms: Let's get down to the rooms.
- Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens: I'm looking for the basics (air con, good Wi-Fi, comfy bed) but then I'm looking for the extras that make the room feel luxurious: bathrobes, a good view, decent toiletries.
Getting around:
- Airport transfer, Bicycle parking, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station: Yay to free parking! Airport transfer is also a HUGE plus.
Let's Get Real: The Anecdote!
Okay, so I stayed at this hotel in Bali once, right? The photos? Instagram-worthy! The reality? A different story. The "pool with a view" – gorgeous on paper, but in reality, it was a kiddie pool with a dozen screaming toddlers. The "spa"? More like a dimly lit room with a massage therapist who clearly hadn't slept in days. I learned a valuable lesson that trip: don't trust the photos… always read the fine print!
[Hotel Name]: The Offer You Can't Refuse (Maybe)
Okay, here's the deal: [Hotel Name] presents itself as a haven for relaxation, adventure, and all-around good vibes. They are offering:
- Complimentary room upgrade (subject to availability)
- Free airport transfers
- A voucher for a massage
My Honest Verdict (and where I'm going to be super picky):
- The Good: Free Wi-Fi, multiple food options, a bunch of relaxation options.
- The Questions: Accessibility needs serious verification. I am asking for more information because they need to be honest about all of their services!
- The "Meh": I need to see photos of the pools before they
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this itinerary isn't just a plan, it's a vibe. We're talking about Jenz 3BR Homestay @ KSL D'Esplanade Residence in Johor Bahru, Malaysia. Forget the perfectly polished Instagram reels, this is a real-life rollercoaster of questionable decisions, delicious food comas, and questionable levels of air conditioning. Here we go…
Day 1: Arrival & The Great Apartment Hunt (aka, "Where's the Damn Key?")
14:00 - 14:45: Arrival and Immigration Fiasco (or, "Sweating Buckets at Senai Airport")
Okay, let's be honest, airports are a special kind of hell. My plane landed in Johor Bahru, and the humidity hit me like a wall made of wet socks. Immigration? Let's just say my passport photo looks significantly less stressed than I felt. Made it through though, praise be! After a slightly terrifying Grab ride (the driver was GREAT but… highways are wild, man), we finally arrived at the holy grail: KSL D'Esplanade. Found the building, now the fun part: the apartment itself.
14:45-15:30: The Key Quest (or, "Did I book the right place?")
Finding the key was a proper adventure. Directions from the host were… let's say “suggestive.” "Look for the little mailbox, then the big one, then maybe… no, wait…" Cue me, looking like a lost puppy, circling the lobby three times. Thankfully, a kind security guard took pity on my bewildered face, and after 15 minutes of frantic waving and broken Malay, we found the damn key. Success! The apartment door opens - A wave of relief washed over me!
15:30-16:30: First Impression and the Aircon Tango
Entering the apartment felt surprisingly… cool. Okay, the AC was a lifesaver - or would be, if it actually worked properly. First impressions! The photos online were… optimistic. It’s clean, it's large, and hey, it has beds. One of the bedrooms had a view of the city. The other… let’s just say the view wasn’t a highlight. But hey, after battling the airport and the key hunt, I was not inclined to care too much. The first priority - locate all the AC units and learn how to operate them. If this doesn't work, I'm done, moving into the lobby.
16:30-18:00: KSL City Mall – Shopping, Snacks, and the Thrill of Being Slightly Lost!
This mall is HUGE. Think, Disneyland sized. Our first stop: FOOD. I mean, priorities! We decided on a local spot for nasi lemak. It was a glorious mountain of coconut-infused rice, crispy fried chicken, and spicy sambal. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. After that, it was time for some shopping, like every other person there. I needed nothing but wanted everything. I wandered the (very wide) aisles, marveling at the selection and occasionally buying a thing or two. And then… we got lost. Shocking, I know. The mall is a labyrinth, and we quickly found ourselves wandering aimlessly. But hey, that's part of the fun, right?
18:00 - 20:00: That Massage Experience (aka, "My Back May Never Be the Same")
My back was killing me from the flight, so naturally, I needed a massage. KSL Mall has tons of massage parlors, and the prices are insane (in a good way). We got one-hour traditional massages that were… intense. It was less relaxation, more… intense manipulation. The masseuse, bless her heart, clearly knew what she was doing, but I yelped a few times. I think she may have tried to "break" me. My muscles were protesting, but at the end… I felt like I could fly! The memory of it still makes me clutch my chest. But the pain was worth it, I think.
20:00 - Onward: Dinner, Drinks, and Questionable Life Choices?
We stumbled upon a food court, where we devoured street food. I had a plate of char kway teow, and it was divine. After dinner, we hit a bar to celebrate our survival. We had a few drinks and talked, and slowly lost track of time. Back to the apartment? Maybe. Who knows. Sleep… probably needed.
Day 2: Culture, Coffee, and the "Weird Things We Ate" Tour
08:00 - 09:00: The Breakfast Struggle (or, "Where's the Coffee?")
Waking up in a strange bed always has its challenges. The sun hits… where it shouldn't. The aircon, has it been working? Did I leave it on? The coffee situation was… dire. Weak, instant… It’s time to venture out.
09:00 - 11:00: The Temples of Johor Bahru (or, "Wow, So Much Gold")
Time for some cultural exploration! A quick Grab ride to a local temple. It was stunning – intricate carvings, vibrant colors, and so much gold! I’m not usually one for temples, but it was pretty beautiful. Respectfully took photos, and tried not to look too lost.
11:00 - 12:00: Coffee and Croissants (or, "Finding the Hipster Vibe")
Google Maps to the rescue! We found a local cafe with seriously good coffee. The croissants were buttery and flaky and perfect. I started feeling like a sophisticated traveler.
12:00 - 14:00: The "Weird Things We Ate" Tour – Round 2!
We decided to embrace the local food scene and try some things we'd never eaten before. I saw them at the night market! We went to a Chinese food stall where we ate something that involved…tripe? Okay, I'm not going to lie, it was interesting. And pungent. It's like a food adventure, like a challenge to you!
14:00 - 16:00: Back to the Apartment: Napping and Regrets… (or, "Why Did I Eat That?")
Food coma? I think so. We went back to the apartment for a nap. The best part of the day.
16:00 - 18:00: Dinner and a Walk Around the Block (or, "Stumbling Upon a Hidden Gem")
We ate dinner at a small, family-run restaurant. I discovered the most amazing fish curry. I think I could eat it every day. We walked to the block, and found a small street market.
Day 3: Departure and the Unspoken Truth
09:00 - 10:00: Packing and "Where Did My Socks Go?"
Packing, the eternal traveler's dilemma. I usually lose at least one sock per trip. This time was no exception.
10:00: Check-Out and the Final Assessment
Checking out of the apartment was easy! Smooth. A quick look around the apartment… honestly, it was a decent place.
11:00: Airport
Another grueling airport experience, but I'm feeling more relaxed. The aircon in KSL was awful but the apartment was alright. Johor Bahru, you've been a delicious, chaotic adventure. I'll probably come back.
Final Thoughts:
This trip wasn't perfect. It was sometimes hot, sometimes messy, and often involved questionable food choices. But it was real. And that's what made it memorable. Would I recommend Jenz 3BR Homestay? Sure! But be prepared for a little adventure and a lot of humidity. And bring your own coffee.
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