Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: Umuarama Plaza Hotel, Goiânia!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the glittering pool of the Umuarama Plaza Hotel in Goiânia! This isn't your average hotel review; this is the raw, unadulterated truth, warts and all. I'm talking my personal experience and let's go!
Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: Umuarama Plaza Hotel, Goiânia! - The (Almost) Perfect Getaway
First off, let's talk about the hook: Unbelievable Luxury. Yeah, that's the promise. Does Umuarama Plaza deliver? Mostly, yeah. It's a beautiful place, seriously. From the moment you pull up, you know you're in for something special. The lobby gleams, the staff are… mostly helpful (more on that later), and the air conditioner is working hard. A good start!
Accessibility: A Mixed Bag (and a Bit of a Headache, Frankly)
Okay, let's be real. I'm always concerned when dealing with accessibility. They SAY they have facilities for disabled guests, and there's an elevator and all that stuff. But navigating the actual practicalities, with the rooms, for someone with mobility issues? I didn’t get to check it out, because I wasn't able to. So, I cannot say. This is something that the hotel needs to clarify.
Rooms: Palatial, With a Few Quirks
The rooms? Gorgeous. Seriously, they're like something out of a movie. Air conditioning that actually works (a massive win in Goiania), a HUGE bed with an extra long bed (finally, someone understands my needs!), and a bathroom phone! Who even uses bathroom phones anymore? But they had one! The bathrobes were fluffy, the towels were plush, and the complimentary tea was a godsend after a long day of… well, doing nothing but relaxing. I had a high floor view, which was breathtaking. Blackout curtains meant I could sleep until noon if I wanted to – absolute heaven. Soundproofing made it easy to forget the world outside, and the Wi-Fi [free] worked flawlessly. Alarm clocks were there, but who needs them when you can sleep till the afternoon? Now, the mirror was perfect for selfies. The mini bar was well stocked, but I forgot to drink all of the free bottled water and coffee maker for a late night caffeine jolt.
But here's my first minor gripe: I needed an ironing facilities. I'm a travel blogger, so I have plenty of formal clothes. But like all, these hotels are sometimes slightly clunky.
Cleanliness and Safety: So Fresh, So Clean
Okay, this is where Umuarama Plaza shines. With the post-pandemic world we live in, I am always looking for, is a sanitised environment to relax. Spotlessly clean, for sure. They've got anti-viral cleaning products, they're doing daily disinfection in common areas, and there was even a room sanitization opt-out available if I was especially paranoid. Staff trained in safety protocol made me feel safe and the inclusion of first aid kit and doctor/nurse on call, just helps to make me feel more safe.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Where the Magic Happens (Mostly)
Let's talk food. The buffet in restaurant at breakfast? A Western breakfast, Asian breakfast? Pretty good. The coffee shop was a lifesaver. I spent hours there, sipping lattes and plotting world domination (or, you know, writing blog posts). The poolside bar was a great place to unwind in the evening, happy hour here was a blast! The salad in restaurant was decent. And, let's be honest, the bottle of water they give you is a nice touch. I recommend the a la carte in restaurant, and I have to mention the desserts in restaurant - sublime! I didn't go to the Vegetarian restaurant, but it made me happy to know it was there.
Ways to Relax: Spa Day Bliss (Mostly)
Okay, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor], Fitness center, Gym/fitness, Foot bath, Body scrub, Body wrap, Massage- all of these options are available. Now, for the truly indulgent? The massage was heavenly. Seriously, I booked it twice. The masseuse was a wizard, kneading away all the stress of… well, everything. The Pool with view was stunning, and I spent more time than I would like to admit just staring out at the city, feeling utterly relaxed.
Services and Conveniences: A Mixed Bag
The concierge was helpful, but a bit… slow. I requested information about a local attraction and it took them forever to get back to me. Cash withdrawal, safe deposit boxes, daily housekeeping, laundry service, dry cleaning, luggage storage, all the basics are covered. The gift/souvenir shop was a bit overpriced, and the convenience store was, well, convenient. Meeting/banquet facilities, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Wi-Fi for special events and all that jazz are clearly there, if you need them.
For the Kids: Haven't Got There Yet
While Umuarama Plaza does have babysitting service, it is family/child friendly, kids facilities, and a specific kids meal, I cannot review them as I did not have this experience. But the availability is valuable in terms of convenience.
Getting Around: Easy Peasy
Airport transfer, taxi service, and valet parking make getting around a breeze. Car park [free of charge] is a definite plus.
The Anecdote I’ll Never Forget…
Okay, so one night, I decided to explore the 24-hour room service. I ordered a burger, and about an hour later, a very frazzled-looking waiter arrived with it. He was sweating, but he apologized profusely, explaining that the kitchen was in a state of… chaos. The burger? Surprisingly good! But the whole experience was so… relatable. It made the hotel feel human, not just a sterile, perfect box. It gave me the laugh-out-loud kind of moment.
The Quirky Observation:
The elevators. They're fast. Like, really fast. I swear, you could be teleported from the lobby to your room in the blink of an eye. It's a minor thing, but I found it strangely exhilarating.
The Emotional Reaction:
I left Umuarama Plaza feeling… relaxed. Actually, that's not quite true. I left feeling pampered, spoiled, and slightly addicted to the massages. It wasn't perfect, sure, but those little imperfections made it all the more charming. Would I go back? Absolutely.
Why You Should Book Umuarama Plaza NOW! (My Persuasive Offer)
Tired of the grind? Need a serious dose of R&R? Then ditch the everyday and escape to the Unbelievable Luxury of Umuarama Plaza Hotel. Picture yourself:
- Waking up in a palatial room with a view that will actually make you gasp.
- Indulging in a massage that melts away your stress like butter on a hot day.
- Sipping cocktails by the pool and forgetting all your worries.
- Devouring delicious food that's both comforting and utterly exquisite.
But wait, there's more!
- Book your stay this week and receive a complimentary bottle of Brazilian wine upon arrival AND a 20% discount on a spa treatment.
- We're also offering FREE Wi-Fi in all rooms!
Don't wait! This offer won't last forever. Book your escape to Unbelievable Luxury at Umuarama Plaza Hotel in Goiânia today! Your body, your mind, and your Instagram feed will thank you. Click the link below and start planning your unforgettable getaway!
Escape to Paradise: Oxyzone Coorg's Unforgettable Stay
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into the messy, glorious, and slightly chaotic adventure that is my (hopefully) relaxing stay at the Umuarama Plaza Hotel down in Goiania, Brazil! This isn't your perfectly curated Instagram travel diary; this is the real deal, folks. Expect crumbs, existential dread, and the occasional burst of pure joy. Let's do this!
(Disclaimer: I haven't actually been to the Umuarama Plaza yet, this is all hypothetical, based on the hotel's location/amenities and my own delightfully flawed imagination. Let's pretend I'm already on the plane, shall we?)
Umuarama Plaza Hotel: Goiania, Brazil - The (Hopefully) Unforgettable Itinerary
Day 1: Arrival & Existential Dread (and Caipirinhas!)
- Morning (Probably 8:00 AM -ish, but let's be honest, who knows after that flight?): Land in Goiania. The flight was… what's the word… tedious. Three tiny pretzels and enough recycled air to give you a headache. But HEY, we made it! Baggage carousel tango commences. Expect to find my suitcase looking like it was wrestled by a pack of angry squirrels.
- Mid-Morning (Like… whenever I finally escape baggage claim.): Taxi to the Umuarama Plaza. I swear, Brazilian taxi drivers have magic powers. They weave through traffic with the grace of a ballet dancer and the aggression of a Formula 1 racer. Pray for my sanity.
- Late Morning/Early Afternoon (Hotel Check-in - Bless my soul!): Finally, the promised land! Check-in. Pray the room isn't directly facing the construction site I saw on Google Maps. Hopefully, my Portuguese is good enough to understand any potential room upgrade scams? Or is that even a thing? I swear, the front desk person will be the key to the success of the day.
- Lunch (Around 1-2 PM, assuming I haven't collapsed from exhaustion): Explore the hotel restaurant. Okay, the reviews said the food was "adequate." Adequate is code for "potentially edible," right? I'm REALLY hoping they have a decent feijoada. If not, I'm blaming the Trip Advisor reviews.
- Afternoon (Oh god, now what?): Unpack. Try (and probably fail) to make the room feel vaguely like home. Stare out the window and contemplate the meaning of life. You know, the usual travel routine. Decide if I should buy that cheap Brazil t-shirt that’ll probably fall apart after one wash.
- Late Afternoon/Early Evening (Happy Hour/Caipirinha Time!): Find the hotel bar and order a caipirinha. I've heard these are the national drink of Brazil, so it's basically mandatory. Try to strike up a conversation with someone - any human contact will do. Maybe practice my Portuguese. Maybe embarrass myself. Probably both.
- Evening (Dinner and the Big Question: The Hotel Pool?): Dinner at the hotel. Maybe I'll be daring and try something I can't pronounce. Or maybe I'll just stick to the pizza. Decisions, decisions. After dinner? The pool. I'm a terrible swimmer, but the thought of relaxing poolside, even if I just end up clinging to the edge, is pretty tempting. But first, the existential dread of the day needs to be dealt with… do I have enough sunscreen?
Day 2: Goiania Exploration (and Possible Disaster)
- Morning (Wake Up Early! …or at least pretend to.): Decide I've been a slothful traveler. Force myself out of bed. Stare at the Portuguese in the hotel room and realize I have a lot to learn.
- Breakfast: The hotel breakfast buffet! The ultimate test. Will it be a glorious spread of fresh fruit and pastries? Or will it be the same sad, scrambled eggs and mystery meat from yesterday? Cue dramatic music.
- Mid-Morning: Venture out into the actual city of Goiania. The Plan: Explore the Parque Flamboyant. Hike? Walk around? Be one with nature… or get eaten alive by mosquitos? Either way, I'm expecting to feel alive. Purchase something useless (it will happen).
- Lunch (Somewhere, hopefully, not too far away.): Find a local restaurant, try some authentic Brazilian food. Learn the word for "spicy" and cross my fingers. Maybe stumble into a local market. Buy something completely random that I'll have no use for but desperately want.
- Afternoon (The "Cultural Experience" Attempt): Visit a museum! Art? History? Anything to pretend to be a cultured individual. Realistically, this will involve getting slightly lost, possibly misreading the signs, and feeling a general sense of "I don't belong here." Embrace the awkwardness.
- Late Afternoon (Shop 'Til You Drop… or at least until you run out of Reais): Attempt to navigate a local market. Get completely lost in the chaos. Bargain aggressively (or at least try to). Probably overpay for something. Blame it on my terrible Portuguese.
- Evening (Dinner, Disaster & Despair?): Dinner at a restaurant I found on Google Maps and prayed to the algorithm wasn't lying about the food. Something went wrong, guaranteed. The waiter didn't understand my order, I spilled something on myself, and I realized – Oh god, I'm going to get sick.
Day 3: Poolside Relaxation & Farewell (and possibly a complete mental breakdown)
- Morning (Pool Time! (Fingers crossed)): If I'm not completely incapacitated from the previous day's adventures, it's pool time. Embrace the sun. Read a book. People-watch. Contemplate the meaning of… wait, is that a cockroach? Forget serenity.
- Lunch (By the Pool, if I'm lucky): Snack on something from the hotel. Pray it doesn't involve the mystery meat from the breakfast buffet.
- Afternoon (The Big Splurge – Or the Big Waste of Money): Get that massage! The one I saw on the menu. Or maybe I’ll just buy another Brazil shirt.
- Late Afternoon/Early Evening (Packing & Regret): Pack my bags. Realize I've barely touched the clothes I brought. Feel a pang of sadness that this amazing and horribly messy adventure is ending. Mentally prepare for the flight back home… which always involves more pretzels and recycled air.
- Evening (Farewell Dinner & Final Caipirinha): One last dinner in Goiania. One last caipirinha. Reflect on the absurdity of it all. Vow to come back… or to never set foot on a plane again. (Probably the former).
Day 4: The Return (and the Post-Travel Blues)
- Morning (The Journey Home): Taxi to the airport. Try to remember which pocket the passport is in.
- On the Plane: Reflect on the fact that I didn’t get food poisoning, I didn’t get pickpocketed, and I (mostly) survived. Feel joy.
- Back Home: The laundry, the unpacking, and the post-vacation slump… The sweet, sweet embrace of familiarity. The memories, the photos, the ridiculous stories… And the overwhelming urge to start planning the next adventure.
So there you have it. The highly unlikely and wonderfully imperfect story of my time at the Umuarama Plaza Hotel. May the travel gods be with me (and may the hotel have decent WiFi!). I hope the reality is as beautiful and disastrous as my imagination has made it. Wish me luck! And if you see anyone resembling this description in Goiania, feel free to say hello… just don’t expect coherent conversation. I’ll probably be lost in thought, wrestling with a caipirinha, and wondering if they have a good dry cleaner in town.
Luxury Diamond Suite Views: Ho Chi Minh's Hidden Gem Condotel
Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: Umuarama Plaza Hotel, Goiânia! (…Or Does It?) - Let’s Be Real.
Okay, Let's Start Simple: Is the Umuarama Plaza Really *Luxury*? My Expectations are... High.
Alright, alright, let's be honest. "Luxury" is a loaded word, isn't it? Look, the website photo shoots? Stunning. The lobby *looks* swanky. Do you get the kind of luxury where a butler follows you around, polishing your monocle? Nope. Think… more like "aspirational comfort." It's definitely a step up from a roadside motel. The rooms are generally pretty good – the AC works (a HUGE win in Goiânia heat!). The furniture isn't falling apart (mostly!). But the “luxury” might be slightly oversold. Think of it as… upgraded comfort. Maybe.
Okay, I'll be more specific. I went there last year. The suite was lovely, huge bed... but the view? Overlooked a construction site. Luxury with a jackhammer soundtrack. It wasn't *terrible*, mind you, but let’s just say it knocked me out of a romantic mood a bit. More on that later...
Breakfast: The Most Important Meal! What's the Deal Here?
The breakfast buffet… ah, the breakfast buffet. This is where things can get interesting, and by interesting, I mean… variable. Some days, it's a glorious feast. Fresh fruit, perfectly scrambled eggs, that *amazing* pão de queijo (cheese bread) – you know, the stuff you dream about? Other days... well, let's just say the eggs might have spent a *bit* too long under the heat lamp.
Here's the thing: It depends on the day, the chef, and maybe the planetary alignment. My advice? Get there early! The pão de queijo usually disappears fast. And be prepared to hunt down the coffee yourself. They’re not always super attentive with the refills. My memory of that first time? Starving. The coffee was lukewarm. I almost staged a revolt right then and there. Almost. But hey, the pão de queijo *was* good.
The Pool: Is It Instagram-Worthy or a Total Dip in Disappointment?
The pool. Okay. The pool... It *looks* amazing in the photos. Seriously, a tropical paradise, right? In reality… it’s a pool. A perfectly functional pool, mind you. It gets the job done. It's the same one as the hotel, which makes things... compact.
Here's my honest assessment: It is… functional. Clean *ish*. The sun loungers are sometimes occupied by people who seem to have claimed them for the entire afternoon. Finding a spot can be a competitive sport. Plus, I witnessed a very small child, bless their heart, relieve themselves directly into the pool once. I will never unsee that. So, yeah. Take that as you will. Pack copious amounts of hand sanitizer.
Okay, Spill the Tea on the Rooms. Are They Clean? What About the Noise?
Cleanliness? Generally, yes. The housekeeping staff are typically lovely and work *hard*. You definitely don't see any… *critters* wandering around. But… I'm not going to lie, sometimes that feeling of being *completely* spotless? Elusive. I'd say 8/10 for cleanliness. It's not a surgical operating theatre, but it's not a disaster zone either.
Noise? This depends entirely on your room and your luck. Rooms on higher floors are probably quieter. The hotel is on a reasonably busy street. And if you get a room near the elevator, you'll be hearing the *ding* every few minutes, which is… charming, at first then grows as irritating as a mosquito during a midnight snack. But I'd say a white noise machine is a good idea if you're a light sleeper. I swear I could hear the guy next door snoring!
Parking: Is There Parking? Because Finding Parking in a New City is Like a Mini-Quest.
Yes! There's parking. Usually. It’s a pain. Not the easiest parking situation. It's underground, and the spaces can be a little tight. They do have valet, and sometimes that's easier. But then you have to factor in wait times. And sometimes, the valet guys are… preoccupied. I spent a good 20 minutes waiting for my car once. That was 20 minutes too long. I basically paced the lobby, plotting revenge. Okay, not really. But I was *hungry*.
My pro tip: If you're renting a car, try to get a smaller one. Makes life *so* much simpler. And be patient. Deep breaths. You'll get there. Eventually.
The Staff: Are They Helpful and Friendly? Or Are They Overwhelmed?
The staff are a mixed bag, like any hotel, honestly. Some are absolutely wonderful – helpful, friendly, genuinely wanting to make your stay perfect. Others… may be a little less enthusiastic. It can be a language barrier. It can be a long day. Don't expect flawless service at every moment, okay?
But overall, they're trying. They really are. And if you're polite and patient, you'll usually get good service. Smile! A little kindness goes a long way. I once tried to order room service. The phone line wasn’t working, or at least, that was the conclusion I reached. And the front desk was a bit slammed. I just stared at the menu. Eventually someone helped me, though. And the food? Delicious! But it took some time.
Location, Location, Location! Is it Convenient to… Anything?
The location? Okay, here's the tea: It depends on what you're looking for. It's in a reasonably central location, not too far from some restaurants and things to see and do. But you'll likely need a car, or to rely on taxis or ride-sharing services, to get around. Goiânia is a spread-out city.
There’s a *shopping mall* nearby. I loved that. The one time I went, I got completely lost. It's huge! Don't trust Google maps. Trust... well, I still don't know what I'd trust. But the mall is a great place to escape the heat. And find some snacks. And if you've got a car, you're golden. You might even be able to walk somewhere pleasant during the day.
Mountain Stay
